Being wrong is hard to accept. It can be even harder when someone brings it to your attention.
It is natural to make mistakes, and it can happen anywhere at anytime. When someone points it out, it can be a trigger. It may cause you to get angry or defensive, and all of a sudden you have all of these negative thoughts running through your mind about the situation.This is something we all experience.
It can be easy to hold on to and get lost in the negativity that may arise. It’s easy to overlook the fact that this can also cause a snowball effect. It can act as a tiny poisonous seed. Eventually, this seed grows and could cause you to have resentment towards the person that corrected you. It could cause you to feel like you are better than them and you may end up on a constant game of trying to prove to them that you are right or capable of doing things the right way. It can even lead to a mindset of thinking that the way you do things is the “right” way and their way is wrong.
This can result in holding a constant negative attitude towards a person who was only trying to help. It can tarnish relationships, or get you into a rough spot in the workplace. Worst of all, it can deeply affect your personal energy and perception of self-worth.
Cultivating a practice where you take time to hold space for yourself and be witness to these feelings and reactions can help you to rise above them. The ultimate goal is to not allow the negative energy to grow but instead, to channel that energy into a more positive way of being. If you’ve had issues with this in the past, then the following tips may be helpful in the process of learning how to handle being wrong and the feelings that come up around the subject.
Be witness to yourself.
To witness yourself is to feed yourself with the nourishment you need to survive and thrive. Take some time to foster your growth process and witness what is going on. When you pause to notice what you are feeling, it can begin a beautiful process of unfolding. Next time you find yourself being triggered, take a deep breath and just notice what’s going on. Anger holds the energy of fire. it can be sharp and quick, and cause similar reactions. You may find that you are quick to snap at someone who is correcting you or you might result to shutting them out and ignoring them. Next time you find yourself in a situation where you feel like your way was the right way, or someone is telling you that you did something wrong, take a moment to notice the energy that arises. What does it feel like? Where are you feeling it and why? These questions could lead to a chain of thoughts that help you get to the bottom of why you were triggered in the first place.
It can be easy to lose compassion for yourself and others in times of anger. When you are told you are wrong, it brings up anger or shame and it can be easy to shut down or react in a negative way. What if instead of resulting to the easy response, you challenge yourself? Instead of jumping into a negative response toward the person or yourself, try pausing, taking a deep breath and sending love. It could be as easy as internally thanking the person for showing you a different path or pointing out an error. It’s also good to realize that often when someone is pointing something out to you, it could be coming from a place of love on their end, and they may just be trying to help. Send love and compassion to that person for wanting to send love and compassion to you. If you take this challenge, it may be the key to stopping those feelings right in there tracks.
Speak your truth.
To speak our truth, you have to first know your truth. Why are you being triggered? Do you have a history of someone in your life telling you that you are wrong? Do you have low self-esteem or a hard time seeing your worth? You may have worked all your life to do well and when someone points out that you were wrong it may be a major pain point for you for this reason. Take time to really tap into your truth. When you can better understand yourself, you can help others to understand you as well. It could also be that you do not do well with taking advice. If this is your truth, it is good to honor that and go back to asking yourself where this comes from. There is no need to judge your truth or feel shame. This is just another powerful way to be witness to yourself.
Have a conversation.
When someone’s corrections trigger you it may be easier to shut down and ignore them instead of having a conversation with them. The problem with this is that is can cause you to hold on to anger and resentment. It doesn’t all air to get to the wound, and the wound festers and becomes even more difficult to heal. It can be challenging to have a conversation with someone in these situations, especially if it is something you are experiencing in the workplace. It may be helpful to practice responding in the moment. This way your feelings and thoughts are fresh. The best way to do this is to pause take a deep breath, consider compassion for your self and for the person involved, and then respond.This pause can keep you from reacting in an instant and gives you a moment to sink into what you are feeling and to respond in a powerful way that doesn’t hold a negative charge.
Sometimes the best way to deal with these situations is to honor that fact that you are human, and sometimes you can be wrong. It is super honorable when one can put aside their pride and take responsibility. It may be helpful to thank the person for helping you see a different path. You could apologize for making a mistake. Don’t mix this up with apologizing for yourself, you are apologizing for the situation, but not for being who you are. There can be great power in letting go and surrendering to being humble.
Because these types of reactions can come from a deep way of being or conditioning, I invite you to approach these tips with a sense of ease. Maybe try to do one at a time and just know that the goal is not to “fix” anything. You are not broken, and there is nothing wrong with you.
If you do apply some of these tips, I would love to hear how you are doing with them, so feel free to share your experience in the comments below.
Love and Moonlight.
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